and just like that * they were gone

What would posess someone to steal these?

I was actually hoping on playing hookey today but my partner bailed on me. I guess I'm not seeing the "Grimm's Brothers" anytime soon. Computer work life is just so exciting; I can't help but browse for interesting stories. Just so you know, I think this judge is a prick.

hopefully a beginning to more free lunches...

they want me for an onsite interview!!!! OMG!!!!!

i was preparing myself for a rejection... a 2nd phone screen with a different group maybe. i had just sent the staffing guy my feedback about the friday phone screen and he wrote back to say they want to bring me in to talk to some team members... I NEED TO STUDY!!!!

all along this path so far, i thought, i should be able to do this. but now it really feels like i might actually go down this path. i guess i prefer being the pessimist - you are either right, or pleasantly wrong. small comfort, but a comfort nevertheless, to say "at least i was right, i knew things might not work out..."

i'm bouncing around on high energy right now, because work is sucking. this tiny hope at the end of the tunnel is helping me stay afloat.. write more later

free food at the office...

it's true... if you leave free food on the break room tables, they will come and eat it.

case in point, i have a nice slice of lemon meringue pie on my desk right now; i passed by another building on route back from SB (starbucks) and there it is, in the kitchen, half a lemon meringue pie. i partake in a slice, ate some of it... yummy as it is, i can't help but think - am i too trusting? was that pie meant to be shared? how long has it been sitting there???

in one of the previous companies i worked for, i used to always have food at my cube. call it nurturing instincts, or fear of going hungry (which is probably more accurate)... one day i discovered, someone else has been partaking the cookies i keep in my drawers. so i researched recipes that would make someone a bit ill but not do terrible permanent damage. boy i had an altered recipe where castor oil was involved with some ex-lax chocolate chips. then i got laid off before i can bake a batch of these special treats to catch my cookie thief.

as i devour some lemon meringue, i think, what if someone equally malicious spiked the pie?

i take another bite. life is short - eat dessert first.

crazy tina...

DL says to us at the V-bar "there's this girl i met, her friend is hot, but tina is so-so. she's been calling me bugging me for a while even though i'm lukewarm - at best - to her." he just hung up from a 30-second phone call from tina.
So i say "why don't u just tell her to not call u"
DL says "too much trouble..."
i say "let me call her and pretend to be your jealous friend or something and tell her to stop calling"
so he dials her number and hands his cell phone to me... so i think, ok, let's wing this. the conversation went something like this (sorry i'd forgotten the exact words)

tina: hello
amy: hi, may i speak to tina please
tina: yes, who is this?
amy: hi, how are you...
tina: fine, who is this?
amy: hi, this is amy, DL's friend... i'm just wondering, are you and DL very close friends...
tina: ummmm
amy: cuz DL and me are very close friends, and we spend a lot of time together, and every time we're together you would call... so i was just wondering whether you and DL are going out or something...
tina: oh... no... we're not going out.... .....
amy: oh.. ok.. good, i was just wondering.. cuz if you were... since you call DL a lot...
tina: oh, don't worry, we're not....
amy: oh ok thanks then, have a good evening....

the boys thought it was handled very well. i thought, it's not hard to handle a girl... at least from my perspective since i don't even know tina.

happy birthday hurc!!!

bonne fête hurc! i don't know if you actually read my blogs (yes, i know you are jaded because these 'blog things' have happened before, but they we all lose interest and the blogs go unread, undiscovered for years, like bad fashion fads..)

hurc has a picnic potluck party, and i wasn't invited. that's ok i can deal - just because i don't live in the same country/timezone/coast, doesn't mean i don't get to have an invite - for heaven's sake it's an EVITE, you can evite me, ya know! i will cut u some slack just because it's your birthday today...

instead of a birthday gift (read my costco post i am 150$ poorer today) i will do something different and take the time here to talk about our friendship.

hurc and i know each other from our computer classes at school, the whole gang of us accepted hurc into our group. lots of late night last minute finishing assignments, or cramming the final hours before an exam... my fondest memory of our little CS group was staying up late to create our own "cheat sheet" - the 1 page of notes we were allowed to bring to a final exam. Every 5 minutes, someone would email the thread (this predates time when chat clients were readily available) and our emails between all of us would keep us continuing to slave the labour of love that is our cheat sheet.

hurc's been there through lots of ups and downs in my life, heartbreaks and follies, and i've been there through some of his. Even though i live so far away, every time i'm in town, he'll hang out with me, which makes the trips back home very cool.

hurc, if u come to the bay area, i'll be your wingman. funny u think that the girls here in california were more appoachable, even though guy:girl ratio is 8:1. you suffer from the too-nice-a-guy syndrome... i hope you'll find someone cool & kind - someone who'll cherish you and the next minute kick your butt in video games. Lara Croft crosses Chun Li crosses sweet shy demure asian girl.

h a p p y b i r t h d a y ! ! !

trapezing into life...

i love the reference from Austin Powers "i'm afraid of carnies..." *giggle*

Was talking to my friend going through some emotional stuff in her life, i told her she should take a trapeze class. There's a circus school in SF

i've taken trapeze twice, and i highly recommend it for those going through rough patches in life. it's one of those things that feels dangerous enough and yet still safe (safer than sky diving).

The first time you climb the raggedy rope stairs to get to the top, you think "don't look down, this is not so bad...". You get to the top, the trainer is assisting the person in front of you, he says "just hold on to the sides" - sure i'll just hang here casually, looking pretty, as if i've done this all my life, trying not to freak out because i'm at 1.5 stories high and oh, it feels very very far from the ground. you think "the only way to go, is down, baby - either way you are coming down"

"stretch out to reach the bar!" the trainer says... i think, i AM stretched. "stick your butt out, your butt is still trying to stay on the platform..." he says. i think "i'm sticking, but i don't trust that you've got me, and what if you let go, and i fall, and it's a long way down - my butt must know better than me, and what the heck am i doing in this place..."
and he says, "i've got you. i won't let go until you are ready and you tell me to. trust me"
i melt cuz i feel his strong arms holding me - so i stretch, i reached for the bar, and i hip-hoppity hop into my first trapeze swing, my eyes are frozen open by fear and anticipation, i forget to breath, so i have no breath to scream... the trapeze took an eternity to get to the other peak of the arc, as it swings back, i remember: breath, feel the wind, look around, i'm not dead.

to me, trapeze is the quickest therapy to say, i've leaped off 1.5 story high platform holding a bar, and i'm alive... your breaking my heart is scary, but boy, if i can survive that trapeze, you ain't got nothing on me...

the Costco madness

one would invariably figure that a weekday 11am would be a decent time to drop by Costco, grab your stuff and get out of there without drama - who knew that friday 11am is crazy busy time!!

They say: don't grocery shop when hungry. they definitely need to say that on a big sign outside Costco... i knew i was hungry, but i figured - get in, get out, make food at home - I SHALL OVERCOME, I SHALL OVERCOME. $150 poorer, i admit defeat. big fruit platter i can never finish - check. "champagne grapes" (the name just SOUNDS poetic - think fifi-french) - check. a case of Redbull for my hockey games - check. Avoiding the danger of bringing a monotonous boring death, i shall stop reciting my grocery list here. Costco is an evil place; unless one remembers that - no sir, i do not own and run a restaurant, and i am not responsible for feeding a family of 12 (even though at times i feel like i'm hungry enough for all 12 people)

-------------------------------

Made a trip to Goodwill today (funny how "working from home" day gets a lot of non-work errands done). Got ride of 3 bags of clothes , last year alone i got rid of over 12 bags of clothes. Madness i tell you. it gets a bit easier each time...
i get sentimental about clothes... the fat-jeans that made me look fabulous when i was heavier (the urge to keep them, "just in case"). the crazy color, crazy cut, just plain ugly shirts that are free courtesy of mom, or Hong Kong relatives ("these are in STYLE in HK! you should feel LUCKY!") - yes, i can certainly wear them at home... the 5+ years i've own these, perfect wear-at-home couture, i've shown that i have never, ever worn them at home. contrary to my beliefs, there ARE shirts too ugly to even wear at home, where no one would see it.
I did manage to rescue a top and some pants previously abandoned to the Goodwill pile because I had "out grow" them and they fit now.
wait, is it too late to beg Goodwill for that fabulous pair of fat-jeans??? "please, sir, it was a mistake; i'll still need to look fabulous, even when i'm fat!!!"

----------------------------------------------------

interesting links...

i like interesting links... i think the internet has facinating weird/obscure stuff that only very few discover...

make fire with a can of coke and a chocolate bar, and other useful food-related tips

i love reality tv shows (not all of them) but this just seems so wrong. At least the kid might have records to look through when they grow up

i'm a SB (StarBucks) girl, i can't help it... even if the spiders' web tell the truth

when i'm low on SB, i often ponder on such topics...

for those geeky friends, 8-bit D&D

my friend Joey's blog

let friday be a good day...

they called!!!!
i'm worthy!!! at least until the next stretch of the process... so i have a technical conversation coming on friday. I hope i don't get, luck of the draw, an antisocial bitter snobby engineer... please please please, let it be someone normal.

Although it's interesting, this will be my first phone screen after having been on the other side of the fence. In the past i've always received the screens, in the last few months i've helped given them. my general feeling on the topic is, as long as you don't sound like an idiot, typically you'd do ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend JM is having nervous breakdowns :( i hope she's ok, i've only recently began to get to know her better, she is going through tough times with the recent breakup, and having a relapse since her last conversation with her ex. It's hard to find the right words for such occassions, because often times there is nothing right. I think we all just need some companionship, time alone, time being busy, and distractions from all the thoughts until we are ready to deal with them. we're supposed to do dinner & a movie tonight. i hope at least i can distract her from the hopelessness feelings...

job hunting is like dating...

... maybe it's just me, in the phase of life of uncertainty and trying to grasp at things i can "depend" on... but the hunt for a job is a lot like the hunt for The Man in your life.

"why hasn't he called yet?"
"have i said/done something wrong?"
"maybe i sounded too eager/easy...."
"i think i should've highlighted these abilities and talents of mine..."
"maybe i responded too quickly..."
"why hasn't he called yet?"

repeat

Can I help it if it feels like my worth is tied to this hunt... whether or not i am 'worthy' is determined by the outcome... is it wrong?!

oh, here's some Murphy's Law for you... before my phone conversation with some staffing person at the Mickey place, i wanted to print my resume and my essay question responses and the job desc out and spend 10 minutes getting into the mood... Printed the 8 pages of stuff, ran to my usual printer - nothing.

ran back to my desk to check, it said printed. Looked at the default printer setting - *insert expletives* OMG it has my old building printer setting, that's where it got printed. I ran over, across the street, 2 parking lots, into my old bldg. Yes, yes, of course, it had to be the printer CLOSEST to where the VP and Director of my group sits - it's their default printer. Luckily, I think I arrived within 3 minutes of printing, and my pages were neatly stacked like all the other printouts were, looking as if they were untouched.
I grabbed the pages, huffing and puffing as i ran back to my desk. Of all the printers in this company, that was the absolute WORST printer my document had to be printed out of. I almost gave myself a heart attack...

another potential beginning

so... a few weeks ago, i went to the Mickey place to meet my friend for lunch (i will explain why this reference later in this post). I fell in love with their company - mind you, it's not just the fridge FULL of Naked Juice in the visitor's lobby, or the fancy leather massage chair (worthy of Sharper Image), or the cool glass-pane-monitor that scrolls 'real time' search strings that impressed me... they had me at Free Food... ! All my life my motto of "will work for food" might come true!

So, JM came to pick me up from the visitor's lobby - me, mouth-dropped in awe. Continued to be awed as we go 'round the campus, the day was hot and the game was sand volleyball in the court amidst the bldgs. Of course, being a hot day, a few of the players went 'skins'. Then we entered the cafeteria... stalls of food, endless food, people milling in different lines... There was the asian food stall (one of the specials were clams!!!), the pasta stall, the grill stall, the sandwich stall, the mexican stall, the salad stand... fresh fruit, dessert table of hand made desserts, and 6 fridges full of fancy expensive water/drinks. JM said to me, it's like Disneyland for adults. (get the Mickey reference now?!). I drooled as I bumble along to get some steak and risotto for lunch.

The food was pretty good (much better than at current place, a decent restaurant quality food) - AND FREE! but more than that, the campus was buzzing with excitement that day. It could be accredited to that I was there at lunchtime when free-food would make most anyone excited. But really, the culture was young, enthusiastic, energetic. I was impressed with the peeps. I was enthralled. I was in love. I thought, I WANT TO WORK HERE, this is why i'm in california.

So since then i've given my resume to JM, and had to answer a few essay questions (from her pespective, how does she know me, what are my strengths and weaknesses). Weird thing is, i finally got her all the answers wed night, so she emails to let me know she'll put it in the system asap. the next morning I got a voicemail from this lady who said "i was told you can help me with a project; this is time-sensitive information, can u call me back..." I call back, and she asked me a few questions and asked me for a copy of my resume, so i asked her how she got my info. She muddled about how when you work with someone they recommend others who are really good... so i saw JM at the rink and had dinner with her after our game, she told me she HADN'T entered me into the system yet... so WTF..

JM looked up that lady who turns out to be a recently hired temp recruiter at the Mickey place. I got an email yesterday, a staffing person wanted to talk to me, called me today and asked me questions about what i'm looking for, what platform am i familiar with for scripting, am i rusty, what do i do, etc. So now i have a technical screening coming... I'm a bit anxious because in the past experience depending on the luck, some engineers aren't very approachable or open. Hopefully i will be able to come across as strong as I feel (at times).

cross your fingers for me...

remember: violence isn't the answer

Unfortunately I can't lick my latest wound as 'Becca elbowed in the face/eye socket this morning. Damn it hurt. Tingled all morning; I was wondering if it would bruise but thankfully I don't think it has. So I guess its just physical. Like that doesn't hurt.

the Diamond Cartel...

courtest of joey, I love this comic strip. In fact i've seen a comedy act that covers this topic, it was hilarious!

PMS - it's real, as long as I say it first...

yes, I have PMS. and NO, it's not ok for you to suggest/think/hint/allude to such facts, even if you were right. Trust me, it's a lot less fun to be right about this.

maybe more details than i should share, but my cycle has never been regular. So unlike some women, i have no idea when i will go through PMS, until it's too late. I get really emotional, and not just feeling-like-crying emotional - it's like an enhanced version of feelings are dealt to me. So i've questioned things like "where do we stand" and little things bother me a lot more... and before you know it I may have said and done things in ways I never intended to...

ooops. :)

so it begins, entering the world of WoW

for the geeky friends of mine, you will appreciate this posting...
I have started playing World of Warcraft.... *applause* It's been a while since i've sunk time into a computer game, the last memorable ones being Diablo I & II and Age of Empires... (i hear the snickering). Mostly because i had a crappy laptop, then a crappy Frankensteined desktop, whose hard drive finally, fatally fried.. and now i have a decent new laptop as my toy.

Took about 3 hours to install and patch WoW - I was so ready to play but by the time all's said and done i was beaten down. So far i've played about 2.5 hours of it, and i must say i do really like it. (I even enjoy being able to geek-talk with other WoW players about my character, class, race...) I admit that I've been resisting the game (having watch my roomie disappear for 6 months into his room, surviving on coke and campbell can soups). But I was intrigued, I was decent at Diablo, i even played Starcraft a few times (mind you, the whole time I played it, I kept thinking "Silly boys, this is just resource gathering like when little girls like to play house, cook food, etc etc" - the only thing that did not interested me were the different races and species and details of the aliens races).

My character is a human priest (or priestess, since i play a female character). Cuz I'm vain, and the human race is pretty, and priests have great healing abilities (I tend to die easily in games requiring skills, mobility, hand-eye-brain coordinations...). So far it's been fun - more so after the roommies changed all the settings of my game so I have a good resolution and the stupid game camera doesn't constantly change to challenge the focus of my eyesight.

But being a girl, when my roommies were explaining about the game (C for chacater, B brings up your backpack...) there were other players running by in the game... and I follow them with my fingers and goes ... "OOOOO cute, a panda bear!!"
what can I say, i am easily amused. I don't mind being called a girl, cuz that's who I am. A girl who's a geek. How COOL is that.

some interesting conversations...

so.. yeah, as you can see, the girls and i had a very interesting conversation. Perhaps a bit of background is needed...
I think that it was the first time all 4 of us were online to chat at the same time! And that never happenes anymore, when you have a doctor, a lawyer, a student and a computer geek (living on the other coast) - we live in 3 different cities, 2 timezones and 2 different countries.

I'm not sure why, but maybe until the last 2 years or so, the girls and I NEVER talked about anything regarding sex, or even alluding to it. We deny that people we know even have it. Maybe it's the Catholic private school upbrining (although I recall walking into grade 10 Art class and one of the more "casual" girls were describing an eventful weekend in some details...). Mainly I think growing up asian... I think most of us never even had the Birds n' Bees talk with our parents. Heavn forbid we'd actually talk about any of it - our parents assume we never do that kind of thing, and we assumed our parents only had sex equal to the number of children in the family. I guess it goes with the territory, with Asia being a majorl "hub", if you will, of a lot of wacky and probably unmentionable stuff - to balance out for the cool, unemotional exterior of your stereotypical person of choice.

Conversation about Pubic/Pussy Designer

K says:
I just told AC that you are going to the waxing lady!
AL says:
just updating you - going to evil waxing lady she is so... direct. she made me blush
K says:
I heard she is the best...T. 's has been to other wacers and aparently this lady is FAR FAR superior
AL says:
it's scary
AC says:
if there's one here i'd go
K says:
yeah I'm more embarassed than scared but aparently the lady is so comfortable with it she really puts you at ease.
AL says:
esp down there. even mike doesn't get to do those thing.
K says:
HAHAHAH You can bring M. because she waxes men as well HAHAHAH
AL says:
AC i'm sure there's someone in san jose. any spa will do it too.
yves rocher does it here and spa diva too. PD suggested a heart shape! tacky!
K says:
no dont do it...
AL says:
i really don't want a heart
K says:
AL is going to the PD (pussy designer) otherwise know as Tammy the waxer
AL says:
omigod is that why they call her PD?
K says:
I'm sure I will be next to go...I'm tempted
S says:
my cousin's addicted to that. my cousin said it hurt.... but she went back for more.... becuase she liked the effect..
K says:
Yeah why did you think it was PD
AL says:
i thought she said "pubic designer" when i was on the phone
omigod
K says:
eitherway it's clear what she does
AL says:
i could understand only half of what she said
K says:
But I guess Pubic applies to everyone at least
She has a heavy accent
AC says:
I LOVE THIS CONVERSATION
AL says:
all i understood was that she does "entrance and exit" omigod
K says:
everone I know who has gone keeps going back....becuase they said they like that it's so "clean"
and alot of them are single girls ...
they said it's so fast it's not a big deal.
S says:
you're brave
AL says:
i guess it explains why women haev more babies - they forget the pain!
anyway, i have emla in the fridge and other anesthetics in the cupboard
the perks of being married to an anesthetist
K says:
Use the emla for gawd sakes...and give me some next time as well...
Yes she does do entrance and exit...
AC says:
this is so wrong
AL says:
i have a tiny tube of 2g... it will barely cover a finger
K says:
She also asks you to clench you ass muscles so that she can work better
HAHAHAH Wait AC you have to come back and get it done...I cant guarantee the quality out there...
AL says:
ass muscles will be clenched in fear and embarrassment
S says:
my cousin says it gets a little easier each time
AL says:
AC, go to a good and expensive spa first
K says:
Aprently when my friend went the phone rang and she said there she was ass in the air and Tammy left to get the phone HAHAHHAHA
Yeah but maybe alot of those spa's wont do it...u know the whole nine yards...
S says:
i didn't know it was so popular
K says:
me either...but then again who talks about these things
AL says:
msot of them do - the ones in hawaii did at my hotels but they wanted $80 USD
tonia has been doing it for years but not the full thing
K says:
AL I want a full report and then I will probably go...curiosity is killing me
Aparently the lady makes her own wax
Yeah well worth it..
AL says:
i hope she is careful about germs and cleanliness in general
K says:
I'm sure if you wanted her to do arm pits and legs at the same time it wouldn't be too much more..
AC says:
what is this call?
K says:
She makes a nice Flame shape or a pear shame depending on what she has to work with but yes parently she makes heart shapes also
AL says:
$40 at yves rocher. the girl doing my manicure before the wedding was trying to convince me to do it but i chickened out at yves rocher, that girl took it all off! brazilian
AC says:
i thought that meant nothing left?
AL says:
they can leave a "landing strip"
K says:
Yeah but some only do the sides not a nice shape..you'll see this woman is a perfectionist...Sometimes Toula says it's ok you dont have to be perfect but then Tammy gets angry at her and tells her its an art.
I had another friend get yelled at because Tammy says "I DO THE HAIRCUT NOT YOU!!!"
she was secretly trimming at home....and she was busted by Tammy hahhahah
AL says:
i've done it on myself but only the little bits sticking out of the bathing suit... nothing close to this
it didn't hurt when i did it myself
K says:
yeah brazilian is a landing strip. I nearly fainted when I did my own.. and I did a terrible job
AC says:
i miss u girls
S says:
what prompted the decision to do it AL?
AL says:
me too
AC says:
i have no one to talk about this stuff with ! who do I ask, my guy friends/? "hey guys, is this a good shape for me or what"
AL says:
intrigue after K mentioned it...
AC says:
I was intrigued too
AL says:
hahahha although i could imagine gautam being amused. i was talking to him about sex and birth control etc while raj was in the room at gautam's place (in fact, she was shouting out her opinions). mike was appalled that i talk to other men about sex!
S says:
you're getting me intrigued, but i'm just gonna wait instead... and listen to your stories
AL says:
also intrigue after the yves rocher girl was telling me it would make my sex life better
"more sensitivity" is what she said. i dunno about that
AC says:
just prettier too. it's like a nice haircut?
S says:
maybe because it feels so clean and looks clean?
AL says:
there ain't much whoopee going on around here so it may be a while before i report back. the bed is for sleep these days...
maybe his initials? hahahahhaha
AC says:
or someone ELSE's nitials hahah
AL says:
even better
AC says:
what's the expression "shit or get off the toilet"
ok girls i need to go i'm still at work. i'm going to go eat
AL says:
i gotta sleep... mike is playing video games... argh! it's every night like this till 1am
i have to be out of the hosue by 7am. ugh
AC says:
HUGZ love you girls ttyl
AL says:
me too

late night movie and a coffee

went to watch deuce bigalow movie tonight - so much of the humor is just un-PC and distrubing... the first one is definitely better.
grabbed a burger with DL and PJ at In & Out, then met up with PM at Starbucks... we were there till 1am closing time...

can't stay up the way i used to do for school anymore - i guess this is how age is catching up to you. i had a long yearning to be home and comfy. I guess house parties are good where people come over and hang out - at least some people are comfortable.

I'm reading this book call Round Heeled Woman http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812967879/qid=1124181539 The woman who wrote the book had placed an ad in the personals in New York Review of Books "Before I turn 67-next March, I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like."

being a prude (chinese culture, catholic private all girls school background) - the book facinates me. I'm searching for people's adventures and wisdoms in their adventures about love, sex and all that stuff that life is about. I'm about halfway through so it's pretty interesting - and surprisingly there's a lot of background and not ALL completely about S-E-X.

anyways it's been a long night, so i will have to impart my wisdom some other nighit. Just wanted to log in and add some comments

- good night, dear prince.

setting the stage

setting the stage...

it's been a while since i've blogged... mostly due to recent computer troubles, and i miss it; i miss writing for an audience (however invisible it may be) and i miss documenting moments of my life for later reflection (my memory fails me often). in recent months i've met a few friends who continues to blog their adventures online. It got me to think that i wanted to come back to this world.

here's the stage directions.

29 year old girl, moved to the Silicon Valley (guys : girls radio at 8:1) - asian, cute, smart, funny, heterosexual. (gosh that sounds like a bad classifieds ad) working for a big internet commerce company. That's about all you need to know at this moment.

the other things you need to know about me - i'm incredibly delusional... erring on the happy side. I think all people are good (except 1 ex boyfriend, but there's an entire blog about that) - and that everyone can rise to the expectation given the right motivation and support in their life. And often times, i like being that motivation, and what i most want out of life is that at the end of someone's life, they look back and say "she has touched my life, my life is full of light and happiness because she was there; she has made me a better man". A romantic at heart.