will i ever be one of the boys...
*more rant alert*
don't know what it is, i've attributed it to going to all-girls catholic school where they taught us we can achieve what we want (without taking sex or race into consideration) - and then going into a field where guys to girl ratio averages 7 to 1... but i've always roughed and tumbled with the boys, just like any of them do. espeically since i've never been a girly-girl (*puke*), i can chat CPU process speeds and i can parry u in geeky bad puns and jokes. we suffer thru mad scientist-like bad profs together and i can differentiate your equation as well as the next guy (back in the day).
so it's still shocking to me to find out in this day and age, i am NOT considered one of the boys. (!!!) i take pride in that. i don't want to be treated like a girly-girl, i don't want to pretend that i'm not drooling over the latest high tech toy (the Nano!!) or that i don't love shopping at Best Buy almost better than shopping for clothes. now that i PLAY hockey, and i watch some football (have always followed the SuperBowl games), i can even speak coherently at times about some sports tidbit.
which leaves me hung out to dry, because all my life i've gotten along great with the boys, i'm considered one of the boys - at least i've always thought so, and felt i was treated so, and now i'm not - but the girls i've met don't get along with that geeky-boyish side of me. i am neither here or there...
posted by Amy @ 11:31 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
hunh. Are you sure you're not confusing sh-tty friends with "being one of the boys"?
Everyone has their definition of girly girl but you're definitely not a tom-boy. You're bubbly and "cute" (those ugly fat cutesy bears/hellokitty) and you don't dress like a geek/slob so how is that not "da boyz"? Do you really want them to treat you like they do themselves? Walking around in underwear, eating like a slob, living in filth, juvenile behaviour, sexist comments/jokes, farting, burping to no avail etc. I'm a guy and I *know* I'm not one of "the guys". As people have noticed, I have more female friends than neaderthals. The guys I *do* know aren't that macho to begin with. Why would I want to sit on my ass on a beautiful weekend afternoon watching guys I don't know? Why would I want to do this sports talk when I don't care? Why would I lower myself to constant vulgar language and sexist, racist remarks? No thank you. This is an underlying issue as to why I can't stand certain "friends" anymore. I'm so sick and tired of the bull, the machismo, and utter shallowness of being a "guy". I guess I am gay/metrosexual. As I'm sure you probably experienced at some point in your life the banana identity crisis, I don't think this is the same. You hang out with a certain crowd that doesn't fully accept you. I think that's why I'm so happy with the tri club. Nobody cares how fast/slow you are, if you're a guy/girl. Everyone wants to have a good time. If anything I've got more prejudice and self-doubt than they do. (Constantly questioning "do they want me at this party?", "does 'becca not care that I'm 6 years older?") Its weird being invited to university age kid parties (century club, no-clothes party (you still have to cover yourself) etc. and being completely accepted. There is such a diverse crowd of people (in fact, very few geeks) who are always happy to see you and train/listen/share stories with you. We see each other everyday, sometimes twice a day, sometimes riding 200km in 37C degree humidex weather. We race as individuals but you feel like you're part of a team...
Toys? What? They tease you that you would rather have nice clothes than a new iPod? And who are the hypocrites who appreciate a well dressed woman? Ever heard of taste? I appreciate a lot of the nice things in life. Heck, even the kids tease myself and another guy for having a ton of bike clothes - but fact is, we've been doing it a lot longer than they have, while working...
My point is, you don't want to be "a guy". Maybe you need some more supportive, accepting friends. I think its great that our cs gang gets along the way it does. But the more people I meet, the more I realize I missed out in school. There are some incredibly smart, warm and loving people out there.
that's all nice and good...
sorry that rant started because a few boys i hang around with here, has always been like "ok you can crash" when we meet up for coffee, hang out at bars and such. (they SAY they let me crash, but actually invites me). When they first talked about Vegas, i'm like cool, i LOVE Vegas (i actually do decently at the craps table.. ALMOST got hurc into it too on our last trip there). The boys were like "sure, we'll LET YOU crash our trip"
then some time goes by, and all of a sudden, their tickets are booked, the info that they were going was mentioned accidentally when someone else asked about something... and i looked at them in disbelief, and now all of a sudden i'm no longer invited to crash the boys trip to Vegas....
i feel a bit betrayed, honestly. i guess what it comes down to is that i think i'm just one of them (they are all boys) - and for the most part they treat me like one of them. and now i'm told i wasn't invited to crash because i'm a "girl"? WTF.
i'm no FIFI-girly girl, i don't cramp anyone's style. in fact i've become a wingman of sorts to the guy friends who wanted my help.
i guess it's true, if i can't be accepted for who i am, then screw them. doesn't take away the hurt that i get abandoned on the guys trip to vegas.
I just have two things to comment on:
- I can't believe someone has an even older phone than I do. I have a 5-year old Samsung from the Clearnet days as well.
- Amy didn't ALMOST get me into craps. I'm hooked. Just not a gambling addict. :)
re: ancient cell phones: serious, i have the oldest phone from anyone i know out here, my 3.5 year old LG phone
re: craps table: i like the game a lot. you win easy but you lose easy, however i think it's the most fun game in the casino.
re: boys, vegas, parts of Vegas etc. i've never been to those places, i think it might be fun to go, especially in a group and i seriously wouldn't mind. heck i've been to the Star Trek experience in Vegas and i wanted to go there less than i want to go to dance clubs, or THOSE types of dance clubs. but whatever...
i'm sure murphy's law would strike me back in retaliation for saying so (or maybe my flat tire is already the retaliation) - but perhaps karma was at works, the boys (at least 2 of them) were/still/caught cough/cold the past few days. i'm sure they'll still manage to party it up in Sin City, but i think it was karma working its way; for allowing me to crash, then not allowing me and quietly booking their trip.
ok i'm ready, where is the lightening striking down for me saying this was karma?! :) not that i'd ever wish anyone ill will i just think this is kinda ironic.
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