the mall...

after work i stopped by the mall to run an errand...
figured, ok tuesday night, should be pretty quiet.. but noooooooo the mall was packed, milling around were mostly zombie-like men with a look of desperation in their eyes. you can FEEL them assessing every store thinking 'would i get in trouble if i got her something from this store?!'

to me they are the obstacle of the mall obstacle course; most of these guys are clueless and procrastinating, they have no real destination or idea of what to get, and should i have opened a counter in the center of the mall and said 'give me all your money i'll come up with the right gift idea' they would've gladly hand me their worldly goods... it's entertaining but they better not be in the sales racks fighting me for the last item!

here's a little NSFW (not safe for work) humor:

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife,

pinched her on the butt and said...

"If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose."


While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.


The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts

and said.... "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response...

So she rolled over and grabbed him by his 'DANGLER' With a DEATH GRIP in place to make her point,

she said... "You know, if you firmed this up,

we could get rid of:

the gardener, the postman, the pool boy...

and your brother!"