burning down a church...

aka, humankind at its finest: the Crab Feed.

so my coworker B. invited me along for the Crab Feed - an extra ticket appeared because his original guests were sick.
i've been feeling rather antisocial since the ulcers. most of the time i crawl into bed with my laptop and internet, browse, read news and watch tv online and fall asleep (turning into a piggy, i know) so originally i'd declined, but feeling like i was too anti social, B was able to get me a ticket today for the Crab Feed.

show up at the locale, it was hosted by a hawaiian hula group who rented out the church. So i realize February is the month when dungeness crabs are in season, which is why Crab Feeds are so popular here (remind me to blog about the earlier Crab Feed which happened in a restaurant)


in any case, we all sat down at the annex of the church which serves also as a gym on non event days, long long tables are set up and everyone just sits; it encourages you to talk to ppl you don't know since groups are sat along the table and you face complete strangers. there were raffle prizes all through the evening, as well as hula and tahitian dance performances by the halau.

Fruit punch, pretzels and bread rolls are supplied. then salad course is passed along, as well as a pasta course. then came dungeness crabs, big silver tinfoils of them refilled on the table when the containers are empty.


nothing as graceful or as ladylike as digging into the piles of crab on your plate with probably 500 other people in the room. make note: this is not for faint of heart or an activity for any 'dates'. this is for taking complete strangers, or real good friends - basically people who you don't care about if they look at you in awed fear as you monstrously dismember the dead carcasess of the crabs and devour them with delight


the room was pretty noisy of chatter as everyone is chit chatting... when the crabs were brought out, a hush of silence blanketed the room. everyone's vision is limited to the crab on their plates, working to get the meat out, mixing their sauces, butter, lemon wedges, hot sauces, rice cooking in rice cookers (i kid u not), poke salads, mayonnaise... you name it, someone's brought it. the room begins to be filled with sounds of crab shell cracking and juice flying, people mumbling and sighing in enjoyment, equipment clanking (butter warmer refilling)


i tap out earlier than i thought. (i know, K would be so angry with me. i did drink some of the punch, although i know that's not why i couldn't eat as much as i used to. when we went to buffets K would forbid me to have water, as 'you can have water all you want for free at home, save the room for buffet food!!!'). but the richness of the butter, the hard labour of extracting the crab meat... overwhelms me. it's like Running of the Bulls in Spain.


the servers did a great job of keeping things cleared and refilled on the table.

during one of the clearing sweeps, i had my plates in my hand, turn to put it in the garbage bag of the server...

as i turn, my elbow accidentally pushed a loose piece of paper towel towards the tealight candle in my butter warmer

i turn back around and POOF, the paper towel is on fire, the lightness of it starts it half floating...


in a momentary of mild panic mixed with disbelief, i started blowing at the paper towel to try to put the flames out. it worked a little but did not extinguish it. B's friend on my left watched in amusement for a few seconds before she unscrewed the water bottle cap and douse the whole thing with water, at the same time we both wrestle the paper towel, half aflame, into the styrofoam bowl which is halfway singed.


a small puddle of water splashed onto our table, and onto the girl's clothes; she was absolutely cool about it and we were laughing. well that event made the evening memorable for our group.


it would've been ironic to show up to my high school reunion one day (catholic high school) with a story about how i almost burned down a catholic church in california during a crab feed....